Within a week of having stepped foot onto Princeton University’s campus as a college freshman in 2003, I found myself sitting in a large auditorium with the rest of my class, attending a student-produced play called “Sex on a Saturday Night”.  The play, which was, and still is, one of only two mandatory parts of Princeton’s freshman orientation program, intended to educate us on the dangers of alcohol abuse and date rape.

These were heavy and consequential topics, to be sure.  And yet, I can remember my RA excitedly raving about how much we were going to enjoy the play, saying that each year upperclassmen try to sneak into the auditorium in order to watch it again.

Why were they so eager to attend the production?

Because the play did more than just warn against date rape.  Although the play’s final scene, where the rape victim and perpetrator both come to terms with the reality of the previous night, was both powerful and instructive, it stood out as a dramatic and uncomfortable end to what was essentially a series of comedy skits.  Indeed, the rest of the play consisted of crudely comedic representations of multiple different relationships and sexual scenarios one would be likely to find “on a Saturday night” at Princeton – all of these being emblematic of a casual sexual climate.  It was quickly apparent that for the upperclassmen sneaking in to see the play, the lasting impression of the production was not its warning of sexual assault, but its bawdy humor and lewd treatment of collegiate sex life.

And so was this the lasting impression for me and many of my classmates as well.

Sitting in that auditorium eight years ago, I could not help but assume that the relationships, situations, language and humor acted out before me were a first taste of the typical social scene at Princeton.  And walking out of that auditorium after the play, I felt quite vulnerable and alone.  Was I the only one who didn’t find the gestures and jokes in the script funny?  Was there anyone else who believed sex was not just recreation?

Luckily, I was not the only one with these sentiments, and in the following months and years I would form lasting friendships (and initiate lasting campus projects) that would defy this campus sexual orthodoxy.

But many students are not so lucky.  With orientation programs at many universities advancing an “anything goes so long as there is consent” standard in matters of sexual health, many students believe there is no alternative but to conform to and personally adopt this standard as their own – whether they want to or not.  Orientation programs are full of talk about the value of diversity and personal choice.  But, on matters of sexuality, the choice for premarital abstinence and sexual integrity is often disregarded, discouraged, or ridiculed.

Hence the need to work with orientation program directors and request that they include this choice as a reasonable and healthy option for students as they go about their sexual decision making.  Such efforts at Princeton led to the addition of a sexually abstinent character and other modest improvements to the “Sex on a Saturday Night” production.  LFN student leaders must also take the initiative to reach out to college freshmen as they arrive on campus to show them that an alternative exists to the sexually libertine norms that seem to dominate campus life and opinion.  It is important that these entering freshmen understand that there is a supportive, intelligent, and attractive community for those interested in learning the value of sexual integrity, the importance of the institution of marriage, and the unique role of the stable and intact family.

Last month, I wrote about the need for student leaders to maintain momentum over the summer, especially in order to start the academic year on the right foot.  I would add here that a central part of starting the year off right is planning activities for entering freshmen that can balance and supplement orientation programming.  In so doing, you will provide them with a supportive community of friends, and help free them from feeling compelled to conform to libertine campus sexual norms that challenge their commitments and offend their sensibilities.

Filed under: College, Events and Impact, Friendship, Hook-up, Sexual Integrity, Sexuality, Uncategorized